Tuesday, March 19, 2013



BOND RANKED:
Films, actors, villains, women, allies, title sequences, music


"My name is Bond . . . James Bond."

007 has graced the silver screen for more than five decades and continues to thrill world audiences. Our website celebrates all 23 Bond films (plus Never Say Never Again, the only entry Eon productions did not produce). We thank all those involved with Bond films, the fans, and particularly Ian Fleming for creating the debonair spy in 1953.
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FILMS

24. Never Say Never Again 

Sean Connery returns to 007 in Never Say Never Again

Bart’s take:
Sean Connery’s punch at the beginning of this unofficial Bond film signaled to the audience he had certainly returned after a twelve-year absence. Yet his subsequent performance was uninspired; unhelpful were the mediocre script and villains. Throw in a bizarre video game scene and presto! Least favorite Bond film.

Chase sez: 
Never did I imagine that Kim Basinger (in her prime) and Sean Connery (over-the-hill, but, hey it's still Sean Connery) together in a movie could amount to such crap.

23. Man with the Golden Gun


Bart’s take:
The more appealing Man with the Golden Gun is Auric Goldfinger. The concept of an assassin with a golden gun is intriguing, but Scaramanga was plain. Some scenes were particularly funny with Sgt. Pepper and martial artists, yet this film falls near the bottom of the list.

Chase sez: 
The Man with the Golden Gun was a wuss, which was a disappointment. But like all Bond movies it had some good moments.

22. Licence to Kill



Bart’s take:
Whether or not Timothy Dalton played Bond more like Ian Fleming’s original Bond character, Dalton’s 007 was too serious. The action scenes were strong towards the end of the movie. A small gripe is that the movie should have fell in line with other Bond films to identify a real geographic location, especially since the movie was clearly focusing on Latin American cartels of the 1980’s.

Chase sez: 
Dalton was too serious and I wasn’t crazy about the lead female character, but Sanchez was cool and some action sequences were top-notch. Also a young Benicio de Toro was fun.

21. Quantum of Solace

 
Bart’s take:
All the great ingredients that made up this film simply did not gel. Craig put forth a tremendous effort as 007, to his credit. The international shadow organization Quantum was intriguing, as well as the austere desert aesthetics. Unfortunately the action scenes were too choppy, the plot was too murky, the Bond girl void of romance, and a weasel of a Bond villain all doomed the movie.

Chase sez: 
One of the most feeble of all villains and the plot just never came together.

20. View to a Kill

                                              

Bart’s take:
This movie had its moments but was so-so overall. Bond checked off some amazing monuments with the Eiffel Tower and Golden Gate Bridge, yet the script was relatively forgettable by Bond standards.

Chase sez: 
Decent, but Walken’s flat performance was a bit disappointing (and I am a fan of Walken). Moore at 57 still pulled it off.

19. Live and Let Die


DI Live And Let Die (4)

Bart’s take:
Roger Moore’s “Bond . . . James Bond” ranks as one of best introductions of the series. The movie started strong yet many scenes are slow. Noting that part of the Bond experience is to notice social norms that no longer have a place in today’s world, this movie groups cult-like voodoo mysticism and black characters, appearing particularly dated. Solitaire’s psychic abilities were a gigantic stretch even for Bond characters.

Chase sez:
Solitaire = Sexy as Hell. Mr. Big = gotta love the blackexploitation era. Moore’s “Bond…James Bond” line = one of the best ever!!

18. Tomorrow Never Dies




Bart’s take:
The BMW chase scene stands out as one of the most enjoyable of the series. Teri Hatcher’s screen time as Paris Carver helped spur a sharp first half, yet the second half descended into too much action and violence. Michelle Yeoh is a star martial artist and beauty, yet her character lacked chemistry with Brosnan's 007.

Chase sez: 
The first 1/3 of the movie was the BEST BOND EVER! Car scene, great dialogue, awesome action scenes…I was supremely disappointed with most of the rest though. And damn, Michele Yeoh was a horrible actress. A big downer by the end.

17. Die Another Day



Bart’s take:
Finally Bond goes to some Cold War holdouts in Cuba and North Korea. Halle Berry’s Jinx had the look and appeal to be a great Bond character, yet she and 007 were trying too hard. All together this Bond films was one of my least favorites; it would be rated lower had Chase not liked it more.

Chase sez:
Amazingly Halle Berry was the worst part of the film. No chemistry. I enjoyed the bad guys in this one though. Finally, worst special effects EVER in this film. And how/why did Madonna appear here!?



16. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

Bart’s take:
If you seek a “snob-appeal” Bond film that oozes decadence then you found your winner. Complete with a playboy Bond hooking up with different women using the exact same pick-up lines, identifying where caviar came from, insisting he smokes only his own cigarettes he carries in a case, and being offered a bribe to marry a Countess. The movie is as high as it is because the musical score is outstanding, the ski chases (and outfits) are riveting, and the plot was intriguing. In all, Lazenby looked the part and played Bond decently. 

Chase sez:
I expected Lazenby to be horrible, but I was pleasantly surprised - he pulled off Bond very well I thought. I rate this film #1 in sexual harassment - for God's sakes, Lazenby grabs Moneypenny's ass like it is okay, and walks around the public ogling a Playboy centerfold! In the words of Bill Clinton, "I don't know whether to laugh or to cry."

15. For Your Eyes Only



Bart’s take:
Some captivating scenes included the beginning car chase, confronting a henchman trapped in his car dangling on a cliff, and dealing with Zorba-like Miles Columbo. Some of the funniest Moore moments occur when he baby-sits the promiscuous ice skater. The relatively weak villains dragged down the movie.


Chase sez:
One of the best lines ever when Moore shuns the sexual advances of a too-young ice skater hitting on him: “Errr…yes…well why don’t you put your clothes on and I’ll buy you an iced-cream.” This flick was watchable throughout.

14. Diamonds Are Forever


diamonds are forever
Bart’s take:
Diamonds Are Forever wins for the most bizarre characters: Bambi and Thumper as gymnast/assassins in bikinis, two dry-humored gay henchmen, and (anti-feminist?) Tiffany Case who pranced around in revealing attire throughout the episode. The characters may have been bizarre but they were a lot of fun. 

Chase sez:
Lots of fun here. On the special features, I was surprised that Plenty O'Toole stood on an "apple crate" during the casino scene (see above)...I thought that she was hot as Hell. Tiffany Case (Jill St. John) was a total ditz but also totally attractive. Great movie throughout.


13. Goldeneye


http://www.mythicdesigns.net/sean/goldeneye/alec5.jpg


Bart’s take:
The villains steal the film. Sean Bean as Alec Trevelyan delivers several memorable lines that should be engraved in Bond lore. His right-hand woman Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen) is as hot as she is terrifying and impossible to ignore. Pierce Brosnan looked outstanding yet at times he acted too timidly in his first Bond outing. The bombardment of action burdens the film.

Chase sez: 
After considering the one liners, characters, and opening sequence, I am surprised how low I rated this film. 006 (Sean Bean), Xenia Onatopp (Famke Jassen) were some of the best characters that ever appeared in any Bond film. And wow, between 006 and Xenia there were some unforgettable lines and scenes!! Unfortunately, the film consisted of one explosion after another, and that was about it...not enough time to think.


12. You Only Live Twice


Bond Villains And Their Monologues | You Only Live Twice

Bart’s take:
A real spectacle of a movie set in 1960’s Japan and inside Blofeld’s huge volcanic underground lair. Blofeld is an iconic villain yet he suffered from too little screen time. Engaging fight scenes illuminate the picture.
 
Chase sez: 
Blofeld took forever to appear in the film, but when he did he made a BANG! Interesting to see something made in Japan in the 1906's. Connery was Bond, in his prime - c'mon now, these ingredients are tough to beat!

11. The Living Daylights

007 in Afghanistan

Bart’s take:
This movie has grown on me. Timothy Dalton did a decent job as his darker Bond. The plot twists and locales make the movie. General Pushkin was a strong side character, too. The villains were quite weak, save the beginning escape scene. Strong theme music.

Chase sez: 
I really liked this movie. First off, A-Ha!'s opening sequence song was an instant 80's classic. Next, Dalton was a BADASS - I thought he was way better here than in his next film, "Licence to Kill." Combine this with some Mujahedeen action (when they were our FRIENDS against the evil Soviets), and some awesome scenes, I rates this one far higher than Bart. 

10. Moonraker

 

Bart’s take:
This over-the-top Bond had a lot going for it. The outer space effects were out of this world (corny joke for a corny theme). This installment included stellar locations at Rio, Iguazu Falls, and a Versailles-like chateau. Drax’s quest to engineer a new master race from the heaves to repopulate the planet paved the way for Austin Powers mockery as much as any other Bond film.


Chase sez: 
Apparently, Holly Goodhead told her father that her name was based on the fact she had a "good head" on her shoulders. Ironically, the feminist theme comes up - score that one step forward, two steps back for the feminists! All that aside, this was a really solid Bond and one I would see over and over again.


9. The Spy Who Loved Me


The Spy Who Loved Me

Bart’s take: 
This movie’s opening ski stunt awed and set the tone for a fast-moving film. There were some excellent one-liners complete with an appealing woman character in Agent XXX (Barbara Bach). Stromberg was an outrageously malicious cardboard cutout of villain who employed intriguing henchmen like Jaws. Cool car and submarine scene.

Chase sez: 
Stromberg was one of the best villains ever...Botticelli painting on the wall, classical music, an underground kingdom, master plan and lots of great looks and quotations. XXX was totally miscast as a Soviet spy, but my God, when you see Barbara Bach's figure and lips it is pretty clear that it does not matter a bit. Moore was witty as ever, too.


8. Dr. No


URSULA ANDRESS WITH SEAN CONNERY AS JAMES BOND, 007

Bart’s take:
This movie may well be considered the best Bond film of all time. It paved the way for most all of the subsequent Bond traditions: iconic villains, exotic locations, beautiful women, style, captivating music and title sequences, and smart and sharp dialogue. Dr. No (Joseph Wiseman), Honey Ryder (Ursula Andress), and Sean Connery’s portrayal as James Bond set the franchise's foundation. Parts of Dr. No were a little slow, which is my only major criticism.

Chase sez: 
We are getting into the "elite Bond" range. Honey Ryder, WOW is she still alive? Is she still single? Is she not the most beautiful woman that had ever lived?! If Ryder were not enough, Dr. No is a very stellar villain. He is cold, calculated, and as hilarious as he is evil. I admit that I was ignorant when I came into this movie thinking it would be "dated." I wish Sean Connery from 1962 would have jumped through time to kick my ass for that thought (and Honey Ryder for the sake of balance). :)


7. Thunderball


Bart’s take:
Thunderball represents the big-time summer blockbuster. The movie felt like a big beach party only 007 would be able to throw: stunts with sharks, humor, beautiful people in dangerous scenarios, and huge-scale underwater fight scenes.

Chase sez: 
1) Domino = dream woman 2) can I get one of those underwater breathable mouthpieces 3) Connery is cooler than me

6. Octopussy



Bart’s take:
The funniest Bond movie, hands down. A lot of people may find the humor too corny or not befitting of Bond, but lighten up! Give Moore credit for wearing a crocodile, gorilla, and clown suit all in one movie. Additionally the action scenes were fulfilling and shooting the film in India was both exotic and overdue.

Chase sez: 
Moore's best. Really enjoyable throughout. Moore is half-comedian in this one, and I loved the India locations. Finally, it is a reassuring thing to know that this movie pummeled Connery's lousy "Never Say Never Again" in the box office which was also showing in 1983.


5. From Russia With Love


Bart’s take:
This movie was the most realistic spy thriller, feeling straight out of the Cold War. The story in From Russia with Love sets it apart from most Bond entries. Excellent casting for all major characters: the Bond-equivalent Red Grant (Robert Shaw), the delightfully harsh Rosa Klebb (Lotte Lenya), drop-dead Tatiana Romanova (Daniela Bianchi), and the local magnate Kerim Bey (Pedro Armendariz). Even though the real production was marred with difficulty - for example Armendariz became gravely ill during shooting - the final product lives on as a classic.

Chase sez: 
This one could arguable be 007's best. Karim Bey literally died playing his "man of all connections" role, I am still fantasizing about lead lady Bianchi, and Connery vs. Red Grange was one AWESOME matchup! The good news is that there is a PlayStation 2 game based on this game, and Sean Connery is actually the voice of the Bond!! Wow, that was a great $5 investment. :)


4. The World Is Not Enough


Still Of Pierce Brosnan And Sophie Marceau In The World Is Not Enough

Bart’s take:
The pick may ruffle a number of Bond fans' feathers, yet you have to place The World Is Not Enough in the upper ranks. Not enough can be said about a superior villain, Elektra King (Sophie Marceau), who dazzles the screen with her mesmerizing style and acting. She brings out Brosnan's best performance. Elektra's counterpart, Renard (Robert Carlyle), was strong, too. Valentin Zukovsky was a hilarious ally. The action scenes were exciting, the plot twists genuinely surprising. What’s not to like? Okay, Denise Richards being miscast as a nuclear physicist is noted, yet she did the job and dwelling on her alone blinds one from a fine entry.

Chase sez:
Brosnan's best movie, hands down. Pierce is a slick, debonair and ultra-confident Bond. Marceau: TOTAL TWIST by the end of the film and one of the all-time hottest Bond characters. I am still reeling. Also, I know Christmas Jones (Denise Richards) received a lot of gruff for being a nuclear weapons expert, and I see this point, but c'mon, Richards was a total hottie in 1999. Also, Zukovsky almost stole the show as a side character.


3. Goldfinger



Bart’s take:
This movie is the best Sean Connery bond film and follows the traditional Bond formula with near perfection. Obviously this movie is synonymous with iconic moments and imagery: the gold-painted Jill Masterson, the super-strong Oddjob with his steel-rimmed hat, the gadget-ridden Aston Martin, Auric Goldfinger’s laser device to torture 007, his “I expect you to die” line, “Pussy Galore” as the iconic Bond girl name . . . the movie meets the gold standard even today.

Chase sez: 
One of the tip-top best Bonds. Connery is in his prime, Goldfinger is an A+ villain, Oddjob is an A+ henchman, and out of all of the Bond movies I enjoyed the gadgets in this one the most. It will never get old.


2. Skyfall





Bart’s take:
Skyfall is second on the all-time great list. The cinematography is eye candy: colors, shapes, and moods pop off the screen. The plot is strong, centered around Bond’s need to protect M, played magnificently by Judi Dench. A sub issue of questioning 007's post-modern worth as an aging spy triggers excellent dialogue. The action sequences go full throttle. In sum, the movie is a thrill and convinces the audience that Bond is just as relevant 50 years after its inception.

Chase sez: 
"Sometimes the old ways are best" is the theme throughout - just an all-around 4 star movie. M (Judi Dench) is fantastic, and Daniel Craig is a killer - totally fulfills the Bond role.

1. Casino Royale


 

Bart’s take:
Casino Royale is #1. It’s #1 on a shocking number of levels, too. Best title sequence? Check. Best action? Check. Two spectacular action scenes and stunts before the movie even ramps up. Best intrigue? Check. The poker scenes are the highlight of the film. Best Bond ally? Check. Rene Mathis has friends everywhere and delivers his lines like a master. Strong Villain? Check, La Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen) is a cruel, back-stabbing gem of a villain. Best Bond girl? Check. Vesper Lynd (Eva Green) has the best lines and strongest character development for a Bond girl, not to mention her drop-dead appearance. Daniel Craig as 007? Check. He’s a steely stud with sex appeal, delivers brilliant lines, and is ensures himself as one of the top bond portrayals.

Chase sez:
I was on the edge of my seat the entire movie. Eva Green was so sharp, witty, and sexy that she is my favorite Bond girl of all-time. Craig was a total badass and a gritty Bond...it was the first time any bond had hit any weightroom since Connery. And La Chiffre is one of the most formidable villains of the entire series. Top it off with my favorite opening sequence, and a sidekick Mathis who almost steals the show (he even competes with Green when they are in the same scene!) and this is the best Bond EVER!!


JAMES BOND PORTRAYALS

6. Timothy Dalton

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Bart's take: Dalton is a decent Bond, although too serious for my tastes. Bond needs more warmth even though he's an assassin.
Chase sez: Even though Dalton is least best, he still pulls off a good Bond. The Living Daylights was his best effort.

5. George Lazenby

 
Bart's take: Not the most refined actor yet he has good looks and he did well. Moore probably had better ability to develop the character long-term.
Chase sez: Lazenby was the snobbiest of all Bonds. He played the role pretty well but he just wasn't around long.
4. Roger Moore

 Roger Moore as James Bond. Credit: PRNewsFoto/Starz! Entertainment Group/AP Images
Bart's take: I like Moore because I get the sense he really enjoyed the role. Solid job over a long span.
Chase sez: Watching Moore, you could tell he had a fun time playing the part. Not a great fighter, but he pulls the role off each time.
3. Pierce Brosnan

 
Bart's take: Brosnan is the most sophisticated and refined Bond, fit for more politically correct times. His physicality was not great.
Chase sez: Brosnan was the most suave of all Bonds. He sense of humor is not to be underestimated as well.
2. Daniel Craig

 Daniel_Craig_as_James_Bond.jpg
Bart's take: Great physicality, dramatic, and benefits from dialogue that portrays our hero in a less frivolous light.
Chase sez: Craig is the toughest, grittiest, and overall the man is a cold-blooded assassin.
1. Sean Connery


 sean connery james bond 007 wiki
Bart's take: Connery launched Bond into the phenomenon that it is today with his handsome looks, wit, and masculinity. My #1.
Chase sez: Sean Connery IS Bond . . . the first and the greatest.

BOND GIRLS

10. Holly Goodhead (Lois Chiles), Moonraker

 
Brains and beauty with a good head on her shoulders!

9. Tiffany Case (Jill St. John), Diamonds Are Forever

 From Honey Ryder to Strawberry Fields: The ultimate guide to Bond girls: The movie: Diamonds are Forever
The actress: Jill St. John
Character type: Glamorous smuggler
Cringeworthy name factor: Moderate
Good or evil?: Bad girl gone good
Ultimate fate: Heads off into the sunset with Bond on a cruise ship
Distressed damsel or Bond-worthy badass?: She leans toward damsel -- yes, shes a smuggler, but she seems to be pretty useless at... everything.
Yes, a tad ditzy, but a good sense of humor, a lot of charisma, and looked amazing.

8. Solitaire (Jane Seymour), Live and Let Die


She had a great style about her and is one of the most beautiful Bond women. Her psychic powers were a bit far-fetched.

7. Pussy Galore (Honor Blackman), Goldfinger


The forerunner for strong Bond women with one of the most scandalous names.


6. Domino (Claudine Auger), Thunderball

 
Gorgeous Bond girl who contributed to the entertaining Thunderball. Like a lot of early Bond girls her character is underdeveloped.

5. Paris Carver (Teri Hatcher), Tomorrow Never Dies

 Teri.jpg
She played her glamorous, embittered character to the hilt in her limited screen time.

4. Agent XXX (Barbara Bach), The Spy Who Loved Me

 Barbara Bach Anya Triple X James Bond Spy Who Loved 21st Century Boy
She's beautiful and it was enjoyable watching her antagonize 007 . . . though not totally convincing as a Soviet spy.

3. Tatiana Romanova (Daniela Bianchi), From Russia With Love
Tatiana Romanova
She's the kind of woman it's worth slaying a dragon to save! Built strong romantic ties with Bond.

2. Honey Ryder (Ursula Andress), Dr. No


She might as well have been named Venus. Timelessly sexy.

1. Vesper Lynd (Eva Green), Casino Royale
 
   
Gorgeous with equally impressive wit. Flawlessly acted character of many layers. She's our top pick.




BOND VILLAINS

10. Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Donald Pleasance), You Only Live Twice
 
Pleasance is the best Blofeld. His screen time was lacking, though his introduction for a villain was one of the best.


9. Oddjob (Harold Sakata), Goldfinger


A classic character with his steel-rimmed hat and strength. One of the most likable villains. Also a strange pairing with Goldfinger.

8. Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen), Goldeneye

 
One of the sexiest characters in all the series, also a total psychopath.


7. Agent Red Grant (Robert Shaw), From Russia With Love


A worthy adversary in every sense of the phrase.

6. Dr. Julius No (Joseph Wiseman), Dr. No

 Dr. No
Deserves all the credit in the world for setting the bar so high in the first Bond. Cold, calculating, and a formidable villain.

5. Auric Goldfinger (Gert Frobe), Goldfinger

 
Stole his scenes. A scheming, diabolical, gold-obsessed bad guy who fell hook, line, and sinker for the "let's not kill Bond just yet" trap.

4. La Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen), Casino Royale

 http://fandomania.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/lechiffre.jpg
A eye that bleeds and plenty of malice to go around. La Chiffre is a desperate villain brilliantly portrayed.


3. Karl Stromberg (Curt Jurgens), The Spy Who Loved Me


Opera music, priceless art, a table with buttons for every creative death imaginable, a master plan for an underground kingdom . . . what's not to love?!

2. Elektra King (Sophie Marceau), The World Is Not Enough


Breathtakingly attractive, King effortlessly manuevers between saintly and evil identities.


1. Alec Trevelyan (Sean Bean), Goldeneye


http://fandomania.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/trevelyan.jpg
Many of the best one-liners from the entire series come out of Trevelyan's mouth. A character you really love to hate! He's our #1 villain.


BOND ALLIES

10. Tiger Tanaka (Tetsuro Tamba), You Only Live Twice

 File:Tiger Tanaka - Profile.jpg
If you want someone to hook you up in Japan, all roads lead to Tiger Tanaka.

9. Moneypenny (Lois Maxwell), Dr. No - A View To A Kill
 
It's always fun watching Moneypenny flirt with Bond. She flirts with the best of them.

8. Q (Desmond Llewelyn) From Russia With Love - The World Is Not Enough)
 
Q's gadgets are legendary. It's enjoyable seeing Q speak to Bond like an unruly student. The later Q ("R"), John Cleese, narrowly missed our list.

7. Miles Columbo (Chaim Topol), For Your Eyes Only

 
A no-nonsense, charismatic ally who helps Bond remove the wool over his eyes to get on the right track.

6. Sheriff J.W. Pepper (Clifton James), Live And Let Die, The Man With The Golden Gun

 
We really didn't like this guy at the beginning, but now we think he's as hilarious as obnoxious.

5. General Leonid Pushkin (John Rhys-Davies), The Living Daylights

  General Pushkin
He helps Bond in dangerous circumstances. A very well-acted character, give the guy major credit.

4. Valentin Dmitrovich Zukovsky (Robbie Coltrane), Goldeneye, The World Is Not Enough
 
Hilarious, B-quality mafia boss who comes through for Bond . . . for a price.

3. M (Judi Dench), Goldeneye - Skyfall

 
Judi Dench is the best M in the series. She is equally effective being severe and humorous when demanded.

2. Kerim Bey (Pedro Armendariz), From Russia With Love

 
This guy has every possible connection one can ask for in Turkey. He's awesome.


1.  Rene Mathis (Giancarlo Giannini), Casino Royale, Quantum Of Solace

 http://www.hmss.com/films/QOS/Bond_Mathis.jpg
A true master who is one of the only people Bond can actually look up to for guidance. He's been there and done it all.



OPENING TITLE SEQUENCES

10. Tomorrow Never Dies

9. Goldfinger

8. Thunderball

7. On Her Majesty's Secret Service

6. You Only Live Twice

5. Quantum of Solace

4. Goldeneye

3. View to a Kill

2. Skyfall

1. Casino Royale


MUSIC THEMES

10. Tomorrow Never Dies (Sheryl Crow)

9. The World Is Not Enough (Garbage)

8. You Only Live Twice (Nancy Sinatra)

7. You Know My Name (Chris Cornell)

6. Dr. No (John Barry)

5. Goldfinger (John Barry, Shirley Bassey)

4. Thunderball (Tom Jones)

3. On Her Majesty's Secret Service (John Barry)

2. The Living Daylights (A-Ha)

1. A View to a Kill (Duran Duran)
 




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